{"product_id":"very-serious-marine-casualty-t-shirt","title":"Very Serious Marine Casualty","description":"\u003cp\u003eVery Serious Marine Casualty graphic T-shirt with discharge print and an enzyme\/peroxide wash. Made in the USA from 100% US-grown cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eArt: \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/been_shill\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"\u003e@been_shill\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003chr class=\"rule\" style=\"border: 0; border-top: 1px solid #b0b0b0; margin: 0.9em 0;\"\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eVery Serious Marine Casualty\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e is a real classification on US Marine discharge papers. It's the one they gave Chris Beck...\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNot plain \"Serious\"--that's for people who still have the car..\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNot \"Total Loss\" --that's for people who are dead and honestly kind of at peace...\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the worst one: \u003cstrong\u003eVery Serious..\u003c\/strong\u003e hull breached, engine on fire, your gf has a \"work husbando\" (you dont have a job), discord status: \"in the lab\", cant afford McDonalds today.. thats you, technically sailing but taking on water. Maybe you can use AI to fix this. \"Hey Siri, I can't \u003cem\u003eAFFORD\u003c\/em\u003e McDonalds. Use this harness graph of 100 Kimi agents swarm to day trade my last eleven dollars—if there isnt $60k in my Robinhood by the end of the day I'll kill you\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVSMC\u003c\/strong\u003e has discharge print with thin white base pumped up bright so the top coat reads from across a parking lot at night... Washed twice in enzymes and peroxide to help you float.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003chr class=\"rule\" style=\"border: 0; border-top: 1px solid #b0b0b0; margin: 0.9em 0;\"\u003e\u003cp class=\"fine-print\" style=\"font-size: 0.875em;\"\u003e\u003cem\u003ePre-order. Ships on or before November 15. Card charged at time of order. Ship to an address that will still be yours in November.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp class=\"fine-print\" style=\"font-size: 0.875em;\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eAll tees are made in USA from 100% US-grown cotton. Measure your favorite shirt, neck-to-hem and pit-to-pit, and use the \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.hyde-force.com\/sizing\"\u003eSIZING\u003c\/a\u003e page to pick your size.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"MDE.tv","offers":[{"title":"Medium","offer_id":58318298907011,"sku":"HF-VERY-SERIOUS-MARINE-CASUALTY-T-SHIRT-M","price":88.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":58318298939779,"sku":"HF-VERY-SERIOUS-MARINE-CASUALTY-T-SHIRT-L","price":88.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":58318298972547,"sku":"HF-VERY-SERIOUS-MARINE-CASUALTY-T-SHIRT-XL","price":88.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":58318299005315,"sku":"HF-VERY-SERIOUS-MARINE-CASUALTY-T-SHIRT-2XL","price":88.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":58318299038083,"sku":"HF-VERY-SERIOUS-MARINE-CASUALTY-T-SHIRT-3XL","price":88.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0907\/3895\/0531\/files\/very-serious-marine-casualty-t-shirt-01-1200.png?v=1789439147","url":"https:\/\/mde-tv.myshopify.com\/products\/very-serious-marine-casualty-t-shirt","provider":"MDE.tv","version":"1.0","type":"link"}